anomalymonster | Reading

hard to say that enjoy hoarders TV episodes , but there is something that draw back in . would say there is something of satisfaction with episodes that go well , and personally find importance in ability to see consequences and solutions . but unfortunately even good ones most often inter-cut with cruelty towards hoarders , between family members , and so on . subjects of show very clearly do not get near as much time or respect as deserve , and conditions built for TV , not for actual help .

so ... really happy to actually find cleanwithbea , who deep clean homes in horrendous conditions all for free , while protect client privacy and speak with genuine respect and care . there is also none of TV drama where subject only reluctantly agree , and then panic because completely upend house - bea specifically select for clients who self-apply , ready for whatever must be done no matter how extreme . breath of fresh air .

( wow , is this first time anyone on dreamwidth actually use recumbent mood ? :P )

Current Mood: recumbent
Current Music: droplets ~ high priestess

fayanora

Anyone wanting to teach kids should be tested to make sure they have basic empathy for children & won't bully, belittle, or undermine kids. And test that they can & will do their job to the best of their ability. Too many teachers casually traumatize kids for no reason.

I personally don't recall any teachers doing that to me, but I keep reading about it happening to other people, and that infuriates me.

lb_lee

Mori: I done got my periodic need for books about queer ladies, so I have been wallowing in lady books. Here’s what I read!

( queers and ladies from 1980s-1990s )

And now I feel a craving to make a lady zine. I BELIEVE IN ME!

Current Mood: geeky

kossai

1 of 2 books just arrive !

... unfortunately , book which arrive is 3rd book of trilogy - 2nd is still yet to be seen ...

Current Mood: despair
Current Music: soft breeze ~ elizabeth huxtable

fayanora

Had a dream where an old black man was preaching to a crowd against the Christian god, calling him a false idol, a "god of nothing." Saying this false god led an empty culture against other cultures and an empty religion against other religions. A religion of empty fools worshipping emptiness.

I think it was a call for his listeners to return to the old ways, to spiritual paths like Yoruba that the idolaters of the "god of nothing" had torn people from.

fayanora

Why does the food pantry place always insist on giving me these massive bottles of vegetable oil? I mean, 48 oz worth of vegetable oil is ridiculous. Who uses that much oil? Why do they even sell them this size? I have never in my life been able to use the entire bottle before it expires. Seriously, I'm doing good to use an entire 6.2 oz bottle of sesame seed oil in an entire month, and I actually like the taste of that. Who the fuck can possibly use 48 oz of vegetable oil in less than a year? What are they using it for? Are they using it for sex lube? Cuz that's the only thing I can think of to explain it. I can't even begin to fathom what you would need that much vegetable oil for.

The oil in question:

I literally never ask for it, and they just give it to me anyway. I'm too polite to refuse it. Getting better at telling them no to things they give me that I have no use for or can't stand, but it's a work in progress.

Current Mood: confused

kossai

wait on 2 library books since 5th of this month . still nothing . only potential hope is that most recent delivery boxes behind counter still not quite empty , as peek yesterday during second poke-and-bother session , so could uncover today . really hope so - will go in today anyway for event , so that would be convenient .

Current Mood: restless
Current Music: knickknack shack ~ granblue fantasy ost

lb_lee

Sneak: I have discovered ultimate power!

Now that I have FoxitReader working on the new computer, I have regained the ability to print insta-zines out of any fancy academic articles I want! (Just as long as they're ~52 pages or less.) We have been sorting the periodicals at the sci-fi library, and we decided to snag an empty box because it was the perfect size for our bookshelf, and also many of those boxes are empty, dusty, sad, and unloved.

And then I had a great idea. @_@ What if it became our multi library box?

A bunch of the very old multi articles we have (and some of the new ones) are from magazines or 600+ page tomes with names like Transactions of the Royal Edinburgh Society, which include a gazillion articles by a gazillion people on all sorts of topics. (The Royal Edinburgh Society one not only has an early 1823 "dual personality" case, but articles on a plant fossil found in a quarry, milk of magnesia, and math.) Obviously, we aren't interested in, like, 580+ of those pages. But thanks to my trusty printer and FoxitReader, I can print out just the articles that matter to us, date them, annotate them, and put them in the periodicals box in chronological order for easy reference!

I now have seven historical articles printed:

Papierfliegerfalter's translation of a 1791 German medical multi case: Gmelin, E. (1791). Materialen fur die anthropologie (pp. 3-89). Tubingen, Germany: Cotta. (The original German case is already online and screenreadable at GoogleBooks.)
- Maybe now that we have it on paper, we will FINALLY read this!
Plumer, W. (1859). Mary Reynolds: A Case of Double Consciousness. Harper Magazine No. CXX, Vol. XX (May 1860).
- A case about the lady often credited as "the first multiple," even though there's no such thing. She switched between two folks for years, and settled into one permanently after a while.
Dewar, H. (1822). Report on a Communication from Dr [sic] Dyce of Aberdeen, to the Royal Society of Edinburgh, "Oh Uterine Irritation, and its Effects on the Female Constitution." Transactions of the Royal Society of Edinburgh, vol. XI. Edinburgh: William & Charles Tait.
- Early "double personality" case involving a teenage girl who'd sleepwalk/sleeptalk/go into trance and whose "sleep" memory and "waking" memories were kept completely separate from each other. This paper was listed under the mistaken titles of "Double Personality," and "Report on a Communication from Dr. Dyce of Aberdeen" in Goettman and Greaves' gigantic 1991 multi bibilography.
Carlson, N. (2011). Searching for Catherine Auger: The Forgotten Wife of the Wîhtikôw (Windigo). in Sarah Carter (Ed.) Recollecting: Lives of Aboriginal Women of the Canadian Northwest and Borderlands. Edmonton: AU Press.
- The story of the wife of Napanin/Felix Augur witiko, who in Alberta in 1897 "went witiko," became overwhelmingly compelled to devour his wife and children, and begged to be killed so he wouldn't do so. The local medicine man did so.
Schmidt, L. E. (2010) Chapter Six: One Religio-Sexual Maniac. Heaven's Bride: the Unprintable Life of Ida C. Craddock, American Mystic, Scholar, Sexologist, Martyr, and Madwoman. New York: Basic Books.
- Ida Craddock married an angel in the 1890s and got harrased to death for it in 1902. The chapter title comes from Schmidt tearing down...
Schroder, T. (1936). One Religio-Sexual Maniac. The Psychoanalytic Review, 23(1).
- More of Craddock.
B.C.A./Nellie Parson Bean. (1909). My Life as a Dissociated Personality. Boston: Gorham Press.
- earliest medical multi autobiography we know about.
Also Fox and Ara of Team Meg-John Barker's Plural Tarot Companion from 2025 because I think it's neat. :) (Their Plural Tarot is here!)

I had to stop because I ran out of toner (we were already low) but they all make for very small little zines! Still plenty of room in that box.

I had to stop because I ran out of toner (we were already low) but they all make for very small little zines! Still plenty of room in that box.
Still to-print:

Mitchell, S. W. (1889). Mary Reynolds: A Case of Double Consciousness. Philadelphia: Wm. J. Dornan. Not to be confused with the Plumer article with the same title!
the Anna Winsor/Old Stump case from 1889 (because that case was so hard to find, I never want to lose it again, augh)
This article on Alma Z. from 1893!
Cutten's two 1903 articles on John Kinsel, the guy who his whole college dorm knew about and they took to spanking him with textbooks to make him switch.
The Doris Fischer case from 1916 (turns out we had it buried in our bummer files!)
Brandsma's 1974 article about Jonah, just because finding ANY record of black male medical multiples is rare and terrible!
Everything else I can find that we keep having reference!

We can annotate terms in use... ideas of personhood... theories of cause... so many opportunities, guys! @_@

Current Mood: excited

kossai

pink , pink , pink !!! this is entirely self inflicted , due to research and work on shezow shrine . but holy mother of pink need to stare at green wall for 3 hours .

please enjoy shezow's beautility belt , which is now mostly stocked . until inevitably discover something else that forget about .

Current Mood: PIIIIIIIIIIINK
Current Music: bad romance ~ device orchestra cover of lady gaga

lb_lee posting in

pluralstories

The two editions have different subtitles. The 1996 edition is Nearly Roadkill: An Infobahn Erotic Adventure and marketed as cyberpunk, while the 2025 edition is Nearly Roadkill: Queer Love on the Run, and marketed as romance.

Karn: Question: ... ::drumroll:: Online, what *is* your "self"?
Leilia: Oh, christ, there's the question of a lifetime.Karn: Uh huh. Why so for you?
Leilia: I really become that person online. That's the scary thing. i really believe my fiction. Used to feel bad about it, but obviously there's truth in those fictions.

Blurb: Genderfucking netizens Scratch and Winc splatter across self and identity in this cyberpunk epistolary novel, accidentally starting a global Internet strike, getting accused of high treason, and falling in love.

Why is it worth your time?: Sullivan and Bornstein are queers who used lots of their own chatlogs for this book, which depending on your feeling will be either a good thing or a bad thing. The 1996 edition especially has a lot of pontificating on the nature of self and personality on the Internet, including an exchange where the hero/ines email with a self-declared MPD multi going by "StLouis7." (They decide that they aren't that kind of multiple, but they DO have multiple genders and are exploring interesting expansions of self!) Scratch's persona of Razorfun is ESPECIALLY separate, to the point that Razorfun outright says that "it is my most primitive persona. It is where I go when in danger" and when Winc has to ask Scratch to break out of the Razorfun persona, it's stated to be both difficult and painful. If you're interested in queer cyberspace of the '90s, check it out!

Plural/1+ Tags: abuse not mentioned, creator speaks from experience, otherworld (cyberspace), fictioneers (Lt. Yar and Jadzia Dax from Star Trek), nonhumans (Dax is a Trill, Scratch mentions multiple times wishing ze wa a wolf with a tail), switching, on purpose

Content Warnings: include spoilers; see comments

Accessibility Notes: Okay, so heads up, the 1996 edition and the 2025 editions of this book differ subtly but significantly! The 2025 edition just came out, and it's available in paperback, ebook, and audiobook; it's much easier to find and removed a fair bit, including stuff that really needed removal... but also a lot of the most interesting (to us) ponderings of the nature of self! It also simplified the typefaces and style, but in our opinion to the book's detriment; with all the chats, web diaries, emails, news stories, and announcements flying around, it can be easy to get lost! So the 2025 edition is smoother and simpler.

Meanwhile, the 1996 edition is rough and crunchy in a very '90s way; while the 2025 edition focuses more on gender and romance, the '96 edition pays more attention to self in general. The older edition is expensive and difficult to find these days, though it's been scanned and bootlegged online, and the first chapter is available in clean screenreadable PDF on the Wayback Machine. Take a look, compare and contrast the formatting, and pick the edition you prefer! We are grateful for reading both simultaneously, comparing the drafts side-by-side.

lb_lee

Sneak: with (a lot of) my friend Leaf’s help, I’ve gotten our new computer working better!

( WHY DO COMPOOTER GUTS GLOW? WHY DO? DISAPPROVAL! )

Current Mood: accomplished

kossai

might be collectively fictionhearted with shezow , and perhaps shezap as well . actually pretty obsessively watch that show back when first come out , over and over , and well . haha , bigender .

dive back in recently to create shrine for website ( shameless plug ) and while not complete , have so much fun with watch again to research - and also feel like rekindle that connection .

shezow and shezap is not really how identify , but still important connection and expression , as well as funny nostalgia factor .

Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: old as the world ~ bramble: the mountain king ost

329production

By: Mao Arimura (he/him)
Blurb: I, Mao Arimura, will rant about how my canon story went, pointing out the trans reading and the transphobic (or specifically transandrophobic) tropes at play

Estimated reading time: around 6-7 minutes

A bit of an intro: I'm Mao Arimura, from Gakuen Idolmaster, the (as of this writing) newest branch in the Idolmaster franchise. This branch is set in an idol school named Hatsuboshi Academy. In addition to regular school, students can take the idol course or the producer course to learn how to be idols or producers respectively. The player's insert character is a male student of the producer course whose job is to guide an idol to stardom in their school's live shows, and he will be referred to as "P" afterwards. In this story, I myself am a third-year student in the idol course. I always present myself in a masculine way, and other people in the school knows this, seeing me as a "prince" figure.

( Read more... )

329production

Originally posted on Tumblr
(Based on my experiences, in second person POV)

There’s a ferocious beast inside of you.

When it emerged, it caused problems for you.

You have fought it for that reason,

but it was no use, for it is a part of you.

You then learned to cooperate with it. To accept it.

It was a thorny path, yet you still walked.

You knew for sure it was the right thing to do.

Months later, you’ve reached acceptance and found inner peace.

There’s a ferocious beast inside of you.

You’ve made peace with it. It has helped you understand yourself.

And yet, you still fear it, in a way.

You can still sense its tremendous power, all inside of you.

You’re nothing compared to it, because you’re a mere human.

You just can’t help but fear its power.

lb_lee

Rogan: seven years ago,

armaina wrote about how someone’s artistic goal may not be “getting good,” and it’s been living rent free in my head ever since, because it was such a radical concept to me.

( on the power of sucking exuberantly )

Current Mood: creative

dreamdragon

As I might as well lean fully into the dream-star motif

The appearance of the two celestial beings, the demon Crowley and the angel Aziraphale, seemed to mark a new "era" of the Dream Dragon's Dream Realm[1].

( Read more... )

kossai

journal game index here - now with some separation between audience groups that is hopefully at least semi-useful . some games may be subject to re-categorise , but figure since 18+ games on table , might as well also get slightly more specific about others .

do note that general and mature still do not correspond to intent of design for kids and teens - only about whether games contain sexual themes or heavy emotional themes that require more caution and responsibility to roleplay . that just seem much more sensible in mind .

Current Mood: productive
Current Music: songs from a deep forest ~ paul george webb

kossai

neocities seem to allow pdf uploads . full archive of journal games would not be bad idea ... just in case something was to happen . might as well get on top of that and hope never necessary , rather than have to scramble when suddenly necessary .

Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: moon dance ~ patricia spero

kossai

someone here come up with really fun kinky journal game idea , but worry very much that itch would take down and remove whole account if actually upload . not really sure about policy , or if policy actually mean jackshit anymore , because come across pretty tame things that end up taken down and nuke ... and while non-visual , this is definitely on not tame end of spectrum .

Current Mood: sad
Current Music: returning home ~ esther garcia gonzalez

fayanora

As much as I love writing my Ravenstone series and re-reading the books, I really think it would be much better as an animated TV series or a live-action TV series once completed. So much of how I write it and how I think about it when I write it is in terms of TV or movie cinematography. The way the narration works tends to follow the camera shots in my imagination, and cuts to scenes feel like the way they're done in TV and movies. And there are so many things I struggle to describe even though I can clearly see them in my mind's eye. A lot of Dalia's clothing is like that, for a good example. What got me thinking along these lines was imagining Dalia discovering "elegant gothic lolita" style fashion, and trying to describe how she would look in one of those dresses, especially the softer, pinker, more blatantly girly ones. Best I came up with so far is another character saying "You look like one of those old Victorian era dolls with the poofy, lacy dresses and the fancy, lacy bonnets, but lacier, poofier, and obviously you're black where all those dolls were white."

Like, it would be such a great look on a TV series, whether animated or live-action, but I think even with my best descriptions, the reader would really have to google "elegant gothic lolita" and switch to the images tab to really get a good idea of what I'm going for.

But yeah... Dalia already often dresses in 'Victorian goth' style, so EGL would just be a logical progression of her sense of style.

Current Mood: pensive

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The Monsters in Alcha-Tera

Reading

(no subject)

Childhood trauma

DROWN ME IN LADY BOOKS, pt. 1

this library is tease

Cool dream

One hundred percent serious rn

roll around and sigh ...

The Multi History Box!

PINK

Nearly Roadkill, by Kate Bornstein and Caitlin Sullivan (cyberpunk novel, 1996, 2025)

Sneak’s Computing Adventures

thoughts

Mao Arimura Yells at Gakuen Idolmaster for Paragraphs

(no subject)

Beyond “Good” Art

Galactic Gateway

journal game index now on neocities !

actually

itch policy ...

Alas and alack

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August 2025

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